Thursday, January 29, 2009

“No matches could be found for you at this time.”


Thanks a LOT Dr. Phil & Aren’t there like 20 million people on that site and the search engine couldn’t find ONE compatible single guy? Hmm, maybe I have to remove the words “normal, stable, not an alcoholic, no criminal record, and not still having nightmares about his ex-wife” to cast the net a little wider. Very discouraging. Seriously, if my job hunting experience was as difficult as trying to meet a normal, single, straight, emotionally undamaged guy in his 30s in DC, I would have had to apply for welfare.

Aruba was very relaxing. But it gave me too much time to think about my singledom. Maybe cause everyone else there were either newlyweds on their honeymoon or really old adorable couples still holding hands and nagging sweetly to each other "Morty, put on more sunscreen!".

The only other single people my age I met were 3 old high school buddies – a Fox News weatherman, a New Jersey cop and a mortician in Aruba for a Funeral Home Conference. Sounds like a bad joke "A weatherman, a cop, and a mortician walk into a bar...." We drank really bad beer called “Amstel Bright” and commiserated when the bar closed at midnight and the bartender yelled at us for mentioning Natalie Holloway.

Note: DO NOT mention Natalie Holloway when in Aruba. The locals get very upset. I mean I was just making the observation that in my first day in Aruba the hotel bellhop offered to give me a tour if I rented a car and the restaurant GM said he would give me a ride to the casino. Um, I didn’t really follow that case closely but as an American woman why would I consider getting into a car with a local?!?

Having so much free time to think (this was a budget trip, remember I am still technically unemployed until Feb 3, and we only went out to eat one time, so there was a lot of free time. We subsisted on Cup O Noodles and PBJ sandwiches in the hotel room) I realized with the holidays and layoffs, I had not properly had time to digest a breakup from a few months ago. The first night, sitting on my balcony overlooking the sea, I decided the solution to getting over it was to be found at the bottom of a bottle of red wine. And I tried to get there as fast as I could! Sadly, all I found was a slight spin to the room and no answers. And then I woke up in the middle of the night cuddling with this weird dog head towel creature (see pix) which sent me leaping out of bed not knowing where I was. I woke up with a slight headache and went to the gym as punishment and ran 3.5 miles. I have actually never run that far before and decided that was the better alternative therapy than cheap red wine. I am trying to train for a 10k. Pray for me.

I am letting my stupid subscription run out. I am supposed to be living on a budget commiserate with my pay cut and it’s a silly expense – the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results, right? Maybe I should take up a collection to continue it. Or maybe I should outsource the whole thing to a friend. Any takers? I’ll give you my password and you can search for me. Please no guys with Mustangs (bad experience); guys with pix of themselves wearing a tank top, do-rag and sitting on those little speedy motorcycles; or guys with screen names like "desperateforlove" or "outonparole" or "themedsrworking" or "soverygaybutdontknowit" or "liveswithmom" or "seekinggreencard"...Ok, I'll stop now. But that was kinda fun.

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