Monday, April 13, 2009

From VP to Beer Cart Girl

Well, this was supposed to be my layoff blog. My layoff was brief but the effects of the recession on my little part of the world are not. I like the new job - cool company, great people, good product, and its related to GOLF. But sadly, it came with a pay cut. And I have been trying to deal with lifestyle changes that I am slowly starting to realize may not be sustainable in DC. It may be time to move. Plus I am very much over the traffic, high cost of living, overworked way of life here. Cherry Blossoms and free museums aside - I think I will be better off in a smaller city/town.

But the prospect of starting over in a new place also hurts my brain and kinda scares me so instead I have made some more cuts to sustain living here in DC for awhile longer until I decide what to do with myself.

My Mantra is : There is no shame in this economy.

Changes I have made:

1. Cuttting coupons - yay, geekdom. I save at least $7.00 a grocery trip now. I am wondering why I didn't do this sooner. I almost hugged the cashier the other day when I saved $20 off my bill. Though it is a time consuming process and sometimes I don't really need/want to buy two 3lb boxes of Cheerios to save 50 cents but I stick to what I need and it seems to be saving me some cash.

2. Cutting down my Direct TV package to 30 channels instead of 3,000. I really only watch The Simpsons and House anyway. Plus, I felt like at least 5 channels just had different permutations of Law & Order marathons on all the time anyway. Law & Order Original, Law & Order SVU, Law & Order CI, Law & Order DMV, Law & Order Parking Meter Reader, Law & Order Health Inspector, Law & Order Civil Court Baliff..ok I will stop... ANYWAY...I read a lot more now. See #3.

3. Library instead of Borders - I have read through most travel books, Dean Koontz and re-read every John Grisham book in the last few months (I can blow through 200 pages in a night, I read really fast). My overtaxed brain is full of worry and doesn't need anything heavier than that these days. I was going to read Ann Rand's Atlas Shrugged but I can find stories of the government increasingly asserting control over industry in the Washington Post instead...

The next 3 changes are part of the book I am thinking of writing: "The Recession Diet - How to Keep Your Wallet Fat and Your Ass Thin"

4. Only 1-2 meals out per week. Sucks for the social life but pants have emerged from the back of the closet that I haven't worn in awhile. Recession diets rule. Tip #1: Eggs are cheap and good for you. Tip #2 - If you haven't ever worked in a restaurant kitchen and seen this first-hand - multiply the amount of butter you THINK a restaurant adds to your meal by 10 and then add in half a stick. Per serving.

5. Gym visits replace dinner out time - I am on week 6 of going to the gym 4 times/week minimum. Long lost muscles are re-forming. I don't have any set workout, I just have to go 4 times. Getting there is the hardest part but once I am there I am shamed into my workout by seeing everyone else.

6. Herb Garden - Well, I had this last year but it def saves lots of $$$ and it helps with #4 as I cook a lot more now.

and finally...

7. I drive a beer cart on a golf course on the weekends. I have to admit - I kinda enjoy it. I get to drive around outside on a golf course all day and watch people whiff the ball. I can now predict with pretty good accuracy, just by watching the practice swing, if the person will top the ball and/or which direction they will shank it to. Golf Lesson #1 - Keep your head down people!

My standard line that gets the big bucks is "Well, I used to be a VP but was laid off so I drive the beer cart on the weekends now....". There is nothing to be ashamed of in this economy. So next time you are out on the course, at Starbucks or getting your pizza delivered - tip the person who served you never know if that person used to be the head of a division of Bank of America or something.

Actually as a side note - the course is a Fairfax Country Course. It is an incredible example of government efficiency. Yes, I am commending the government here. Well, it is the local government which is my favorite kind. Seriously, this is a great idea. Besides the grounds crew and the managers, the place is mostly staffed with volunteers who basically barter their time for free golf. It's am amazingly efficient system that saves tons of tax dollars. More please.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


LPGA in my case stands for: Little People Golfing Awfully

I love to play golf. It's now my one main hobby since I got too old and slow and soft and wimpy to play soccer anymore. I would rather have it be me against ball than me against Sweeper, Keeper or that errant blade of grass that I tend to trip over.

If it were up to me, I'd play golf every day. I don't have enough people who can take 6 hours away from wife, husband, babies, jobs to play as much as I want to so I usually hit Langston Golf Course early on the nice weekends solo. Langston was one of the first African American Golf Courses - built in 1939. Very historic. And I love to play there because I am usually the only white chick who shows up to play so I can sweet talk my way onto the back 9 to avoid getting paired up with creepy people (this could be a whole blog entry on its own). Anyway, the starters are all old retired guys who call me "baby". I don't need a staid, snooty Country Club with a dress code - I just need Charlie to greet me with "You playing 9 or 18 today, baby?" and I am good to go. They also deep fry their hotdogs. If you have never had a deep fried hot dog you must try it at least once in your life. Crispy, drippy, goodness.

Anyway, I did find some old friends to play with last week. And playing with friends means playing with booze.

Since I don't normally drink when I play solo, I didn't realize how beneficial Bud Light could be to my game. I have been reviewing my round and have come to the conclusion there that there seems to be a perfect amount of alcohol that should drink when I play golf...Unfortunately, I just don't know exactly how much that is.

Let's review my round:

Hole #1 - Sober - ball goes backwards
I have never seen this before but I made contact on my second shot after a beautiful drive off the tee onto the fairway...and the ball took off a few feet in front of me, hit the ground and spun three feet farther back from where it started. I am amazing.

Middle holes - A very nice beer buzz - Par, Birdie
Hmmm, I may be onto something here. Relaxed muscles and the attitude of "who cares where my ball goes, the beer cart is on its way!" seems to work well for my swing.

Last hole - Post-switch from beer to a vodka - Ball goes in water.
I picked up my 6 iron TWICE by mistake and hit with it cause I thought it was the 9 iron. I was sitting the best 9 holes of my life prior to that little mis-understanding between me and my clubs. I need a caddy and his name may or may not be Captain Morgan.

I will have to study this more to come to a proper conclusion of the perfect amount of booze I need to break 100. It willl be a long hard road but I am commited to it.