Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Record Update

So I received a very kind and very nice email message from a Colgate staff member last week. Wishing me well and asking how my little one was doing and commenting on how big she must be getting.


Apparently, my alumni record at Colgate had me listed as having a kid. I can only hope Colgate finds her rightful parents and returns her to them. I will probably be getting recruitment letters from admissions in about 17 years if they don't...

But anyway, my brief stint as a parent of a future colgate student ended with my "WTF?" email reply.

I thought the Colgate email was going to be plea to become the new University President since that is an open position now. I am still a little insulted that I haven't gotten the call up yet...I mean who is more qualified than a former class president? Did I say former? I meant "President for Life" or maybe that that should be "former class president who needs a life"?

Smooth Sailing - nothing to write about...

...but I will post anyway cause I like attention...

I am woefully behind in updating for the following reason:

I work from home. There is nothing exciting about my life anymore. I was waiting for another calamity to strike but since in the last few months I have been laid off, dumped and stricken with the flu, I will happily embrace boredom, good health and emotional stability.

Hmm, "dumped" and "laid off". I think both those terms are terrible. Lets euphamize (I think I invented a word!).

Laid off implies you will get to go back to the same job someday. But "fired" doesn't really work either cause that means you did something vile to a coworker that they either really enjoyed but HR didn't approve of or didn't enjoy and you now have a restraining order in addition to no job...But either way, it means you deserved to get fired. SO neither word works for me to describe my situation and those of oh, about 500,000 others in the last week. So, I am going to go with "Let go". In fact, I like that term to replace the term "dumped" too. In both cases, I was "let go" and quite frankly am better off in each situation!

Oh, I never wrote about my new job training....Training was great and I am loving this new job and give daily thanks that 1. I have a job and 2. I have a job I like and will probably be pretty good at it once I get into the swing of things. Ha, swing. Ha. I work in the golf industry. HA. Ok, I promise never to post again if I am digging this deep for material....

Just to remind you all (three readers) that I am still a walking comic strip:
In addition to having to call in sick on my 2nd day of work (re: flu) I also spilled an entire hot cup of coffee on my lap during lunch with my new CEO at his country club. I think at the time I was telling some GREAT story and had gotten so excited I swiped my cup dumping (agh there is that word again), I mean spilling coffee onto my brown (yay, lucky for me!) pants. I like to make lasting first impressions like that on people like CEOs who decide my employment fate.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Ode to the Flu

Dear Flu

You came on to me slowly
Then quickly swept me off my feet
I shivered when you came closely
Oh, how you had me beat

But now our time together is done
With a power smoothie and spicy thai food, I am finally well
Gone is the OJ, Motrin, Relenza, Delsym, all the meds and then some
Oh Flu, we are thru & you can go straight to hell

Phew. I have finally joined the living after a week of being the flu's bitch. That was miserable and I am getting a flu shot every season now. I am also taking vitamin C by the barrelfull as I am sick of being sick with something or another every 6-8 weeks it seems.

I started the new job but am still too tired to type a full entry. More later.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Kiss of Death

Today I found out about more lay offs. So in total, all THREE of the last companies I worked for have had layoffs. Quite the track record I have. What a weird pattern. Hire me and watch me plow your company into the ground!

I watched my dad struggle with lay offs on and off while I was growing up. He was an auto worker and worked his butt off to send me to college so I could be a white collar worker and never have to be escorted out the door with a pink slip. O well.

My job history is in tatters. But at least I start a new job TODAY! I am off to OH for training and pretty much plan to plunge in as much as I can (i.e. no social life) to ensure that somehow, someway I have job security going forward. Its not enough to let it go to the higher ups anymore. The best you can do is make yourself valuable to a good company and hope.

In other news, I have still been working at cutting my cost of living. So from Feb 1 to Feb 28th I am going to document every penny I spend every day and see how much I can save this month with sales and coupons and not going out to dinner every night. I want to see what the heck it is I spend my $ on cause I just paid out the first set of bills post layoff and I can't believe how much funding I require to live a single, simple life in DC in a 750 square foot condo with a 5 year old paid off Chevy...

The traditional conservative dork in me is looking on the positive side of this disaster - maybe it was time to clean house - and I am not just talking about my last 3 companies but the overall economy in general...I know that the majority of people who have been "affected" by all the lay offs work hard but there is a subset of workers who are lazy and its time for an attitude adjustment about work and earning a living. It's the right to the "pursuit of happiness" not a guarantee of happiness. Obama et all need to make sure to a certain extent we can all pursue happiness but its up to each person to guarantee it for themselves by working harder, smarter and more responsibly.

I was in Target last week and sat in the customer service line listening to the two clerks complain about their jobs and one even said "Its not my job to do this but I will process your refunds anyway". I wanted to pummel her with my bag until she cried "Uncle" (or "Security")...Why was I even IN the line to begin with? I noticed I was charged 50 cents too much for something I bought 3 of and wanted my $1.50 back....something I would have never done pre-paycut and layoff!

Time to go back to the basics, work hard, be smart and make your own "luck".

Ooops I said I wouldn't make this a soapbox or a sex in the city esque blog about my dating life and the last two entries broke both rules!

I am sure I will stumble onto something more entertaining again this week. Off to the airport!