Friday, April 30, 2010

Birthday Greeting Rankings

My ranking of long distance birthday greetings:
  • Facebook friend request from random acquaintance you wouldn't have recognized if they sat next to you on a plane but found you again thru Facebook cause you went to school together: Acceptable
  • Facebook Greeting from a close friend: Questionable, consider Christmas card list removal
  • Text Message: Double points
  • E-Card: That is SO 2003, but triple points
  • Phone call: Consider giving kidney to these people if needed
  • Text Message from friend of 26 years who sends it as a joke now because I called and complained about my birthday text last time she sent one pointing out I knew her in 3rd grade and deserved a phone call: priceless, also gets kidney, maybe even liver if needed
  • Birthday Card in mail: Thanks mom and dad. Does anyone else still do that?
  • Flowers: HUGE. I got a pretty yellow bouquet. From a boy? Nope. From my client.  
Oh, I'm not individually judging anyone either. I'm the worst birthday rememberer there is...

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Old Age

A pre-birthday story....

I was at my gym last week. It has this fancy little kiosk you sit in and it takes your blood pressure, weight, body fat etc each time you workout. Then it uploads it to a website. I like it sit in it every time I go cause it tracks my workouts (not to obsessively weigh myself) and the little bar graph is ever so slowly ticking down on all measures (slowly though). 

I was sitting in it when this group of high school kids was being given a tour at the gym. It looked like some kind of youth wellness program. The teacher taking them around pointed at the machine, looked right at me and said:

"That's a blood pressure machine for when you are old...."

Lucky for her my arm was sucked into the blood pressure cuff and I was trapped or I may have thrown a dumbbell at her head. 

Happy non-milestone, meaningless, 34th birthday to me. 

Friday, April 16, 2010

Adventures in "Social" Media

I was really bored last Saturday. I refuse to do any sort of online dating right now but I really wanted to just go and get some dinner and not by myself (2 of the 3 people I know here were out of town). So I posted a short thing on Craig's List and hoped I wouldn't end up with a serial killer.

When you post something that little confirmation box pops up where you type in the words they give you to be able to publish the  posting. 

One of my words was "Needy"

I hate you Craig. 

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I Hit a Golf Ball

I love golf. I haven't been able to play since November when, after averaging two round a week, I ended up with a tendinitis or "tennis elbow". I stopped playing soccer because I was getting fat, old and out of shape and feared the inevitable ACL tear so I hurt myself playing golf instead.

This is one of those weird chronic injuries that there is no quick fix for. I tried everything. I had a cortisone shot and then went out three days later and shot 49 on the back 9. My best score ever - steroids good. 

Physical therapy finally leveled off in terms of making it any better so I tried this treatment where they inject platlets into the tendon (PRP). Tiger Woods had the same treatment - and as someone pointed out he had some, er side effects...Anyway how its work is - they take out a bunch of my own blood, spin it around to isolate the platelets and inject those back into the tendon to try to get the tendon to fix itself. I figured a "shot" wouldn’t be the most painful procedure I have ever had done. Before they inject the PRP, Dr Ho had to "pepper" the tendon which basically meant poking 40 little holes in it. I was numb at the time so besides a little incident where I screamed like little girl when the needle hit the tendon the first time and I felt it I didn’t feel my 40 pokings. I even thought it was kinda of silly to go pick up Percocet and this numbing tape for it cause it was just a shot. 

Two hours later when I was driving back the numbing agent wore off and I had to pull over and gnaw the top off the Percocet bottle. Who give s a one-handed patient a child proof bottle top? I also mummified myself in numbing tape. Then went home and moaned softly for the next 12 hours. I have never been on Percocet before but I don’t do well with painkillers. Generally even codeine makes me see dead people. All I know is I did a sales call the next morning and I don’t remember a word of it. Somehow I didn’t get that deal.

It was a painful 48 hours but I had to go to RI for a sales meeting. The trip included a crazy shuttle ride to the airport where I screamed out in pain every time the insane driver slammed on the breaks in beltway traffic and sent my elbow into the seat in front of me. I got tagged "disabled” at the airport, my flight was 3 hours delayed, I had the aisle seat and the flight attendant thought my bandage was a bullseye and bashed my arm everytime wheeled the cart by me. The next day I missed my flight home . They also lost my luggage (my numbing mummy strips were in there!). It was not a fun. But I did get that deal…

4 weeks later I feel about 90%. My team of physical therapist, personal trainer and sports doctor seems to have worked. I even had a massage therapist try to work on it. Too bad I used up my entire annual golf budget already on treatment…

But yesterday was the day I was allowed to try to hit a ball again. I had a really odd grip which is why I hurt my elbow (but I used to hit it so far and straight with that grip!). So I had to figure out to hold the club differently. I walked up to the ball with my new grip, lined up, swung back and...

...that beautiful little white dimpled orb flew straight about 140 yards. I celebrated like I had just won the Masters…The guy next to me looked at me funny.

So I'm back. I plan on trying to play a par 3 round in two weeks after another visit or two to the range.

Though first, I need to buy new golf clothes. The man at the counter looked up quickly after a line of guys in front of me went thru and said “How can I help you, Sir?". Hmmm, time to ditch the lesbian chic golf outfit and visor and buy something a little cuter for the course...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Layoff Smayoff

So, this was originally started as a blog in response to my layoff. I probably should give an update.

Let's see its been 15 months and I can say with 100% confidence:...

  • I now work at a company that despite the recession is doing well
  • I no longer waste my life stuck in DC traffic
  • My cost of living is half of what is used to be
  • I never collected a penny of unemployment
  • My apartment is bigger than my condo
  • My apartment doesn't require a monthly visit from Tyrone the pest control man
  • Other people are paying the mortgage on my inflated Northern VA condo
  • I can go hiking every day after work a state park near my house and not worry about rush hour traffic
  • When I go out my tab is usually less than $20
  • The other day the cashier at Rite-Aid insisted on giving me 6 cents so I didn't have to break a $20
  • People seem less stressed and better able to balance work and life and therefore are much nicer
I am still getting used to apartment living though. Its not much different from the condo - I still share a wall on each side with neighbors.  But if something breaks, I don't have to pay for a new one. 

Currently I have loud house music man on one side.   

One the other side, I have the woman who was blasting sad breakup music very morning. It suddenly stopped. Apparently she has a boyfriend again. I had to re-arrange my furniture so my bed is on the opposite wall. 

Overall, it could be worse. 

I love it here in NC. 

But I will never be a Duke fan. 

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I heart Starwood

I was travelling a few weeks ago. I am very partial to the Starwood brands of hotels. When you travel a lot for work its nice, after a long day of airport security and surly flight attendants and sitting next to people whose girth lops over onto your seat, to stay at places that are familiar and laid out the same. Mainly, so I don't stub my toe on furniture on the way to the bathroom. And also to collect points so I can go on nice vacations for free.

Starwood is always helpful. I don't know if I'd be able to function without these helpful little signs.

I was also sent this from another fellow business traveler:

There wasn't a little sign for "Toilet" and I was very confused. Apologies to the housekeeping staff...

Thursday, April 1, 2010


I didn't quite finish my health care series. I give up.

My new attitude is - "who cares, I cant do anything about it so why get worked up about it, Ill just try to drown out the fact that I work 2 full days out of every 5 to pay more taxes by watching bad reality TV instead of the news."

So, I'll try to go back to lighter topics in the next few posts...