Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Adventures in Mobile Refreshment Delivery

So the stress of the beer cart job drove away the person who was supposed to work Memorial Day weekend so I had to fill in. Seriously, she positioned the cart in the path of a tee shot and got drilled when the ball went thru the Plexiglas...Amateur.

Anyway, I kept track of some stats this weekend since I spent 3 days beer carting and playing golf:

Names I was called:
Beer Girl

(I have an MBA dammit)

Top Dumb question asked:
"Are you just a beer cart girl, I mean what else do you do?"

Wise Ass response #1 - "Actually by day I am just a beer cart girl. By night I fight crime and patrol the skies in my invisible plane"

Wise Ass response #2 - "Actually I majored in mobile refreshment delivery in college, with a minor in why don't you just shut the hell up?"

I passed a good quarter of an hour coming up with more names for beer carting. My favorite, possibly coming from the the Pentagon, is: "Ambulatory Alcohol Attack Force Unit"

Though speaking of synonyms, I do want to give credit to the guy who referred to his beer as "putting juice".

Times I was hit by Golf Ball - 1 (due to poor beer cart positioning)

Pars - 1
Putts - 4,345,674,334
New Putter purchased - 1
Inches shaved off Putter to accommodate midget size - 4

Propositions - 1
Propositions refused - 1

Times I told same dumb joke to different foursomes to increase my tips - ashamed to tell

Animals seen:
Snake!, Raccoon, Turtle, Blue Heron, Cardinal, Bluebird, Lizard (2), Chipmunk, Deer (5), Robins (10000), Squirrels (12324546565)

Golf Balls Found - 14
Golf Balls Lost - 3
Net - 11

I am thinking of forming a new charity - The Alliance for Abused and Lost Golf Balls. People really don't make much of an effort to look for their lost golf balls anymore. Who will speak for the gently used and dimpled Maxflis, Nikes and Titlelists?

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